REAL LIFE! - when is the age to be to old to cry?

when is the age to be to old to cry? anger, frustration, and, pain will makes me want to go insane. I try to keep sane with my smiles, with my kind hearted ways, but When the anger frustration and pain gets to the brim. the tears flow like flood gates opening from the clouds. all the barriers all the walls break down. now im left with an disturbing frown. at the end of it all I try to forget (/avoid) [about] the things that started it all. But then they bring it back by pushing the issue against the wall. I begin to inflict self hatred thoughts of it all. thinking I am the problem, but really im content with-in myself in all. Screaming Fuck You, Fuck You. but they never fall. I got to get away, so I isolate myself from it all. In this room blue walls, my mind begins to think, i ponder it all, I think of the places I want to be, im thinking do they ever see the real me, do they see how they are treating me, so they see how unhappy i am, was this meant to be, im stuck like glue to paper. Id be happy if  some how miraculously i just drifted, flew away. I need a plane ticket to some peaceful place.