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The Nightmare's

I only have touched on this a little bit in my previous blogs; it all goes along with me being traumatized when I was a child. And last night I had one of those nightmares about her trying to kill me. In every dream it’s not the same always a different scenario for each dream. Last night it started like this...







2604 Edgewood Ave, my old House in Richmond, VA. I just came home after a dispute about me. When I stepped into the house the feeling of something evil was in the house. I started to look around the house to see if my step mom was around. I looked into her bedroom to see her still asleep. Then I went up to my room, to see a video replaying on my television of her saying what she was going to do to me. I immediately try to plan what it is that I was going to do so I wont die a brutal death. I gather my phone and my charge and run outside. I call my dad to rescue me from this fate. No one answers. I go back in the house to the kitchen. I walk over to the knives to get a few to help me in my defense. I see these 3 new huge 14inch knife with deep jagged edges within the blade. This is what she is going to use to kill me. So I gather 2 of the three, there to big in size for me to handle them, plus they are heavy. I run out to the back of the house to plan how I was going to Kill her first before she kills me. Its hot outside and I’m panicking. I’m trying to dial the emergency number before all of this goes down, (and maybe they will stop all of this from happening. I don't want to have the sin of murder on my hands.) but my hands where clashing with the knives, and one of them falls onto the ground. In the frantic pace that I’m in I leave it behind and I move to the front of the house. I notice that the neighbor's that live across from me moved out. Now living there is a Dominican family (unusual), and beside them are a new family of blacks. Although I love Hispanic people,(especially the girl that I saw) something about them and the blacks just weren’t adding up right. I went back in the house to steak out a hiding place to catch her off guard. As I’m entering into the door, I hear her in the basement. So I continued to her room. My plan was to get into her closet, and wait for her. As I’m entering into the room she's in there and ready! She says "I’ve been waiting for you". I confront her and say that "I know that you are going to kill me". She begging to laugh she says "that’s right". She charges at me, I’m fighting hard, she's too much to handle. I begging reaching for the knife ,she says "that's what I’m going to use to slit your throat". Some how she takes it away from me. I begin to sprint out of the room, into the bathroom. I get in, I’m scared, nothing that I have planed worked. I hear her coming I’m holding the double doors on both sides of the bathroom. She's pounding, pushing the door open with her weight. She's heavy, finally she leaves. I’m franticly searching for my phone. I find it, I’m trying to dial 911 but for some reason my fingers are hitting every button but those. It was like my hands were uncontrollable. I hear voices enter into the house. I’m REALLY terrified now. I mange to call my dad again, still no answer. Now I hear my step mom at the door telling the female to take the knife and carve out the door to get to me. She starts to carve out the door. I’m feeling hopeless, thinking why is this happening to me. I feel blade grinding on the door. I feel the hollowness caving in to expose me. My step mother begins to talk to me, "oh and by the way this is the lovely Dominican Girl that just moved in across from us." I reply arrogantly "Oh I like those". As I finished those few words they can now see me.






My dream ended just at that moment. The feelings of terror felt so real. They say dreams reflect on what is going on into your life. This maybe true. But I haven't seen or talked to my stepmother in years so why am I still having dreams about her. Whether its about her abusing or killing me. This has been going on for years I can truly say that I am traumatized. The comparison of her actions in real life does correlate a little but she never tried to kill me. More of her verbal and physical are the correlation to the real life version of her. Thus saying I am Traumatized.






Or we could replace "Step Mother" with my dads "Girl Friend". I can honestly say that I don't feel safe sleeping with her around.






What ever it is I need to get out of my unsafe environment.






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