Ahhh I Can't HIDE!!!

They have my AIM. They have my Myspace. They have my Downelink. They have my Facebook. They have my phone number. They have my everything I have. Damn can people just leave me the fuck alone. Can people take the "HINT" that I do NOT want to talk to them. Can you respect my space?!! Does that mean anything to you..at all? Gosh I mean obviously I must be important to you since you have everything that I have.

Why can't people take the "HINT"?

2nd Best

So i like this girl alot but we are just talking for now. We talk about almost everything and today she was talking about how she still has feelings over her ex and she can't get over her, you know stuff like that. Which im not bothered by at all. It's just the thing that gets me wondering do I over analyses the future with me in her in it and not thinking about what she might want. I think im being a bit selfish me wanting her to myself and not realizing what she wants. I feel like she is living in the now moment which i am too but hers is different. Im a possibility to her. To me she is a for sure thing. In this now moment she wants to fill her emptiness with someone else. Like a fast love when I can be her a ever lasting love. I want to be that someone else! Not just a second best or a possibility.

But only time can tell what will and will not happen. I just hope its in my favor.



-2nd Best

A child trying to GROW UP!!

I'm trying to get ready and be an adult. I feel that my preparation isn't working. I still am a child. I think like a child. Heck I even still play childish games. Im not sure how to get out of this. (Being childish)

But, 

On Jan 12 I will be enlisting in the Military (NAVY!! woot woot) and I don't want to be under qualified for anything. Military is SERIOUS business; and I want it to be an enjoyful experience for me. I just need to grow up.

Play...? No Play for mee!

Okay so yesterday I meet this girl named Play.

I really didn't want to meet her cuz I already knew she wanted to talk to me. And from the jump I already knew I wasn't going like her. But as me being nice I decided to be nice and be like its nothing wrong with having a friend. And being the flirtatious person I'm. I gave her the wrong impression that I like her (shit why'd i do that). I mean she is cute but not what I'm looking for.

 But anyways now she's all on my nutz like damn chick let them go.

I just want me and her to be friends

Religion...(things I think about)

How do you know what to believe what what the bible says is true? Just before I go into this subject, I want to let you know I am a firm believer in Jesus and God no doubt! But it just concerns me that maybe the bible has other things to say other than what we may know. Many books of the bible haven't made the cut to be in the Bible. Just by knowing that myself makes me think of what other things could be in those "not approved" books that might be essential for our self assurance our knowledge of people seeking Jesus?

Hates The Holidays

main reason :

something always bad happens to me

this year the boyfriend is not showing me any attention 

he's not even calling me damn imma be glad when this shit is over

No Communication...(shits on MUTE)

What's an relationship if you don't have communication? Nothing right? Or am I trippin' on something that may not be that big of a deal. You tell me!

I love him like STEAK N SHAKE it never gets old!

I wanna express my feelings for you. It seems like when I do do that very thing I jinxs the one I love and the relationship. Scared of doing that. So ill just write about it in a blog, that you will never see. I hope we are together forever even when we are not. I feel the most comfortable around you. Thats why I'm with you! All I'm saying is that I love you. And I know you do too.

at this point

right now at this stage of my life im not tring to have a relationship juss talking buddies =)

some flow line i juss made up...lol

im playin ten niccas at the same time

n oh yes 

i got your man,

his gurl thinking about me all at the same time!! 

Some Music I Found

16 Bit - In The Death Car

This is funny..

So im at this roller skating place and i see this girl skate really well so i wanted to know if she could teach me to skate soo i went up to her and i was like "can you teach me how to skate backwards"?

And she's like "Im not GAY"

and she skated away. Im saying to myself well damn what gave you the impression that im gay or like girls?? (which btw im bi) Mabey i was unaware that i was looking at her ass. Idk? 

i just thought this was funny

So it's funny how someone that broke up with you and you moved on to a new and semi-better thing. All of a sudden they realize that you are the one they were supposed to be with. And you where trying to get that through there head the whole time when they where trying yo break up with you. And now two months later you want to tell them your feelings for them when its too late they have moved on. The person they are with now might have some problems that the other might not agree with but they are still together because they are going to make it work because their is no real problem. 

and thats why im still with him no matter what my ex says i will try to always be with him my bf is a God sent gift for me and i really believe that. I mean this guy is wonderful!

The thing I truly HATE the most!

I truly hate is not having money to buy what you want! Especially when you are supposed to be shopping. Or you are waiting on money to come to you and that shit never seems to come to you when you really need it. Can you say frustrating!! Omg!. I promise myself when I become an adult my MONEY will ALWAYS be straight!! Cuz thats the worst feeling ever when your money ain't right!!

Dreams get me thinking..

So theirs this girl... And obviously I like her.  I dream about her. I don't even dream about my own  boyfriend. So yeah this is serious. So I had a dream that I cheated on my boyfriend with her. But this is a dream right so why am I so worried about this? May be its because she's fucking hott and i really want to be with a girl like her. But really what I'm really afraid of is messing up a good thing which is my boyfriend. So I just can not let that dream come true even though I do want to get with her.

Help me understand

Okay. Since I'm with my dream guy; that is purest of all pure type of guy. Now all I want to do is have sex. Like really what is wrong with me?? 

Help me understand!

Not mature enough

Firstly Have found that guy I have been dreaming of . He is loving, caring, not a horn ball he is that type of guy you can see yourself forever with but just not now. I want to fuck and leave, smoke and be free, drink and be marry. I feel that I'm not suitable for him. Mabey I have found him just a little bit too soon in my life.  Sure he is an awesome guy but I want that kind of relationship when I'm mature enough to appreciate it.

Can anyone fill me on this?

All this relationship mess..

Okay I do understand I can date whom ever I would like to. It's just that I just want to have fun and be me period. I've met this EXTREMELY nice guy that i think is PERFECT for me, but right now my mind set isn't just yet right for him I personally think. Mabey I will be ready to get with him when i have all my stuff right but just not right now. Anyways thats all I have to say about that.