Spring Break! (bitches)

So... I want all the FREAK HOES!
but I want a girlfriend over that.... but i want the freak hoes for the time being  :D

Real Life = Feelings Befor Bed

When am I going to feel THE Glory that God has bestowed unto me? I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of these feelings, that I have to shut deep inside. What's the cause of all this? I don't feel like trying, I feel anger and pain, Too much to explain. I just want to be free. Free from me! I want to be ripped out from the inside so that my soul can be free. No more of this glummy bondage, my heart has on me. Let me Soar high until I can't breath the altitude. God help me fly!

Real Life = March 15

When light turns into darkness, with nothing in sight. Feels like your falling helplessly in the night, I speak his name like a prayer, so that God will grip me and pull me back. He lets me see the light.

Dear Lord when I did not feel you near me, I did not know what was going on, I appreciate you more that you continued to hold on. Help me become more uplifted with in your spirit, help me to carry on, i feel weary, i just don't care. Show me the way, I can't make it on my own.

Real Life...

Is feeling like Lord I just don't care. My life feels like short burst of happiness. But I want happiness all the time. Lord I feel soo lost, I can't see the future in front of me. This scares me. What has become of me? The only thing that can suppress my depression is this sweet smelling weed, it's a release, but I'm NOT free! Please change the air that I breath, I need a new hora to survive. Lord please cure me. I am your child, I need help, I need guidance.

Please don't forget me...

I want a sexy black girl by my definition...

I want a sexy black girl with natural hair
I want a sexy black girl that goes to a HBCU!
I want a sexy black girl that is a fem
I want a sexy black girl that is pro AFRICA!
I want a sexy black girl that enjoys India Arie, Luryn Hill, Jill Scott, Erykah Badu....Spoken Word R&B
I want a sexy black girl that loves to laugh and enjoys all of me- even when Im at my lowest point.
I want a sexy black girl that has curves and that is slim in the waist.....

Where she AT?

Lately...

I have come to the point in my life where I'm just bitter and angry with everyone, no matter who you are. I just have soo much aggression. I want to fight. Instead of making myself bleed to release what ever it is that I have inside I just want to exhaust myself in some strenuous activity. I just want to be numb to all this that I'm going through. I never feel like this.... I have before but it just grew into a worst situation; where I was just like fuck everybody. Signs of unhappiness and stress. Whats the cure?

Well in the past Rock music has helped alot! So I'm re-visiting this remedy. But since I'm older now I just want to smoke. Ugh, I like smoking but I don't want to be subjected into being an addict to smoking. Also I'm tring to pray as much as I can, but for some reason I'm rejecting it. But not subconsciously, I'm not sure if I know how to explain that one......TO BE CONTINUED

Feeling like Times are Difficult

If tomorrow was the end of the world i'd be ready to go. Atleast i'll have peace. I wish everything that I am going through will get better.

"I want to be in your presents, in your glory, don't turn away from me oh Lord. Amen"

Untittled

I know I’ve been saying for a long time now that “I can’t wait until I am 18”, or “I can’t wait until I get to college” or “I can’t wait to disconnect myself from the people that causes me unnecessary stress and pain.” But really will I be happy then? I’m hoping with me disconnecting myself from people that causes me stress (which is the main reason I feel the way I feel) I will gain success… I’m hoping. I mean it’s only logical. Right? I feel like if I can have total control over the issue or my life; then I will be happy. Because all the fault would, will be on me. I know it sounds like I’m blaming people for making me feel the way I feel. But I’m not; I’m just at this standstill of realizing I’m T H I S close to making my own decisions. I just want to make the right ones.

-Things to say are easier to write down then to say. Let’s express ourselves by writing.

Insight of what going on in my life...

VIA txt msg..


"DJ-boo

Blogger- hey wat you doin

DJ- nm tired. wbu?

Blogger- same. my head n throat still hurts

DJ- whats wrong?

Blogger- iono. i think over did it with my body. i might be too stressed right now. iono wats wrong. the doc told me nothing was wrong. but im really hurting.. bad

DJ- you need rest

Blogger- i cnt be missin' school, im on a mission! you already know this... i cnt give up

DJ- lol yeah i know chirl. what yu got to do tomarro

Blogger-Take a test n present a project. N hang with "her"... Maybe depending on how im feeling. Ugh.. DJ im just tired of people n im tired of my struggles. I feel like im achieving little by little but not making a real difference. I feel like reaching my goals but at the same time i want to say fuck it... "