Lately...

I have come to the point in my life where I'm just bitter and angry with everyone, no matter who you are. I just have soo much aggression. I want to fight. Instead of making myself bleed to release what ever it is that I have inside I just want to exhaust myself in some strenuous activity. I just want to be numb to all this that I'm going through. I never feel like this.... I have before but it just grew into a worst situation; where I was just like fuck everybody. Signs of unhappiness and stress. Whats the cure?

Well in the past Rock music has helped alot! So I'm re-visiting this remedy. But since I'm older now I just want to smoke. Ugh, I like smoking but I don't want to be subjected into being an addict to smoking. Also I'm tring to pray as much as I can, but for some reason I'm rejecting it. But not subconsciously, I'm not sure if I know how to explain that one......TO BE CONTINUED