NoOoOoOT Happy.

Damn im soo Miserable in Nc. It's like every time I come back im unhappy and bored out of mind!!! It's nothing down here for me. No relationships that would make me want to stay. It's absolutely nothing that would make me want to stay. I swear after high school im going to take the first flight out of here. You just wouldnt understand the half of it...

Bad Weekend...

This past weekend starting on Friday just was not good! I got super fucked up. Then I found out that one of my friends I call my bro got in a car accident while he was skate boarding. With Tragic injuries with a fractured skull and his brain is bleeding. So I was pretty tore up about that and still am. And on top of that I just lost a cousin like 3weeks ago and I don't want to loose any other people I'm close to. Ad on top of that I have been getting in trouble with every little thing. Like idk WATS my dads deal. Then this weekend I was expressing my feelings to my boyfriend about everything that has been on my mind. I was crying and all it was just a mess! I told him alot of stuff that he was not aware of. But were good now. Since I expressed all my emotions and problems with him I have to get rid of the swag. Which I'm fine with but I'm not sure how I should leave her alone with out it ending an friendship in a bad way. It's also kind of awkward that the old swag knows about her and they are good friends and soo did not know this. So yeah... It's madd awkward. But this helps us become better friends because she's aware of me not having such of Strong feelings for which is good. I found out that one of my co-workers got fired and MIA like no one knows whats up. So uhmm yeah i would like to know what happen to him. This has just been a mess and Kinda Stressed.

थिस वीक

एजेंडा फॉर थे वीक : गेट चेक टुडे (तुएस्दय) थें थें बुय्स नीद इतेम्स लोल
थाट्स अबाउट आईटी रेअल्ली

The Craziest ish has been happining....

To whom ever is reading this.... I don't care if I put you on blast. It's my blog for a reason!

First off the girl like best friend likes me and flirts with me on the low. And I don't like that. Madd awkward. So I told the girl that I like about it and it seems like she don't care or what ever. But what ever. But that shit bothers me though. Like on some real! So I try to avoid her?


Then the girl I like (which you can read previous blogs that I have wrote about her...) Is stuck on this guy. And I'm not going to lie I am jealous. But everything happens for a reason. So maybe the next girl I find is what I'm looking for. (And I'm not saying she wasn't what I was looking for but I guess... she just like dick...) I think I was a Little bit ill about this...

It hurts but oh well the the scab will
heal... - Mii Life IssUEs

Anyways Since I have been working at Adventure Landing dudes have been all on my shit. And I kinda have a problem with it. Like I tell them I Have a boyfriend but they just don't give a fuck. ( Ha! this is ironic i do this with girls that are interested in a boy or have a boyfriend cuz I just don't give a fuck. So anyways...) But yeah maybe I'm to nice to them. Idk I just want guy friends. I mean the only guy I want is the one I have and I'm good with that.

My Cousin Justin Cosby, 21, Dies After Shooting in Kirkland House

Justin was my cousin. I remember when I first moved to North Carolina, I was in the 9th grade and that’s when he was just starting Central University. I always remembered him as a cool guy. Always smiling and always wearing the latest fashions. This was cool because I’m into that myself and by him being my older cuz he made an impression on me. I just remember us chilling and on the computer listening to music talking about school and how it’s easy just do your work and study like he did. (This helped me remember that school isn’t hard.)

It really hurts that I won’t be able to hang out with out my older cuz anymore or get advice from him. It really hurts and, I wish I could be with my family right now. And I still don’t know the whole story about his tragic death.

His sister wrote this about him:

"STATEMENT FROM THE FAMILY OFJUSTIN D. COSBYJune 13, 1987 – May 19, 2009
The immediate and extended family of Justin Cosby is extremely grateful for all of the love and support from friends, neighbors, childhood and college friends, and everyone that has extended support in this trying time. Justin was loved and respected by everyone that he came into contact with, as there as there are so many that have a positive story to tell when speaking of his kind heart, comical ways and loving nature. “The boy with the smile that would always lend a hand” is how so many have referred to him through the hundreds of people that have been to visit with our family over the last couple days. We are still in disbelief of the horror and shock of Justin’s murder. He was not a “hoodlum” or “gangster” - people actually laugh at the thought of him being referred to in that manner.
Justin was a fashion trendsetter, basketball player, student and self-admitted “mama’s boy”. He was looking forward to picking up new studies, furthering his aspirations to become successful and marrying his long-time girlfriend. We know that Justin’s wings will be on our shoulders to help us survive God bringing him home for bigger tasks than he can do here on Earth.
In support of the family, the Justin Cosby Memorial Fund has been established and donations can be received at any Bank of America nationwide.
The Wake will be held on Saturday, May 23 from 3:30 – 4:30pm at The Concord Baptist Church at 190 Warren Avenue (at West Brookline St.) Boston, MA 02116. The Funeral service will immediately follow the Wake at the same location. Justin will be buried in his hometown of Richmond, VA.
Our angel Justin will be missed and will always be in our hearts and memories.
Spokesperson on behalf of the family:Name: Shenita CosbyContact Email: justincosbymemorial@gmail.com"

Ahh-man (Big Sigh...)

Yeah. The worst thing happen to me. The swag has moved on. I'm still trinna deal with it or more like get over it. But I'm not lol. But I don't even know why? I mean I talk to 3 other people but they aren't like her. I don't get the same vibe from them like I do from her. So yeah (Big Sigh...) hopefully one day she'll change her mind and come back... But until then the feelings will linger until they find it's place again.

Make sure you listen to the song :

	Drake - Missin You Remix feat. Trey Songz
	Found at skreemr.com

Updates!!

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I haven't blogged in a long min. I have stuff stuff to blog about but I have never got around to the computer. Anyways updates on me. Things are changing with certain addictions. I will be leawaying (if that is a word...) of my addiction(s)((?)) We will see how that will work. Looks like I dont have anything else to write.... Wait yeah I do.

So, yesterday my brother and my ex-stepmom called me yesterday. Then we were talking about her Mothersday... I was being nice. Anyways she was telling me how her mom is in a nursing home because she can't take care of herself anymore because she has cancer. ( I felt bad and still do because no-one likes to see their loved ones suffering and they can't do anything about it) And I could feel the pain in her voice. Then i really felt bad. :[

So my dad comes in the room. And he's being and asshole for no reason. Like all up in my mouth asking me what were talking about and ish'... I was getting annoyed. Like even though I strongly don't like her I do care about the other people in her family that have shown me niceness? Basicly I thought there was no reason for my dad acting an ass when I was talking to her.

Why..?

I'm having issues like always. It feels like I'm searching for something (of course I know that something) and I find something similar to it but it does not satisfy me. And I'm the type of person that wants things to be right when it's happening to me or when I want it to be special...... Mhm.. Yeah emptiness is all I'm trying say. Don't like it... Trinna fight it and just cope with what I have. :-/

This Guy Named Ja' IS Giving me Compitition....

I just found out that I'm a jealous person when it comes to me sharing someone I want to start some thing with. I feel like I'm winning but the other person still has a chance to get back in the game. I'm not sure if that makes sense or not but its true. But I don't want him in it at all. I don't even want him thinking he has a chance. Mean but true. That's what you got to do when you like someone fight for it and go hard or else your going to loose and get hurt. What a tragedy...