Serious Mode..

off subject-....

i hate it when im showing my all and the other person dsnt see it..
Loneliness is starting to bring miseries. I dnt wanna mess around; and still have memories. I guess this is how it was meant to be. You, just a tease to my, imagination my... Miseries. I really want you in my arms. That would solve my misery. But I can't have all of you.. That's the cause of my miseries. And I know I would put up a fight. But it seems like darkeness is brighter than light. This is a loosing game. I should of thought twice... befor I got in the game.
THE END..?

Agenda For The Week !! !! !!

1. Cash the mooolahhhhh!!
2. Buy some blunt wraps! MAngO.. and something else
3. Get the cannabis
4. Go Home..
5. Roll Up
6. Clean Up
7. Smoke
8. Eat
9. Sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10. Aye!

Wednesday

1. Go to the HooKAh Bar !!!! (Another thing marked off my list!)
2. Blaze up!
3. Go home
4. Eat
5. Sleeep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Aye!

Thursday

1. Chill/Talk with someone
2. Go Home
3. Study
4. Blogg
5. Sleep?!!!

Friday

1. YEah i have a job sooooo...
2. Maybe..Clubb if possible (I already had enough fun! time to cool that out!)

Sat

1. repeat #1 from Friday

Sunday

1. I wanna Go To CHURCH!
2. And only church I really like going to SPBC (Saint Paul's Baptist Church, Richmond,VA all dae! is where the Saints come to play ! you heard!)

But imma try and go with a friend, to hers and see if I like it enough to go again, and again, and again...

Hhmmm. you might be saying "All Churches are the same!"

yes in a way.. But this is what I look for

• When im in church I like to feel like they accept ALL no matter what you do, bc we all are children of God. (no matter what you believe in) ((And who are they to say that you arn't welcomed. ))
• They not trinna get your money! Because you are not getting all mine! (I have bills to pay.. you feel meh)
• The Preacher of whome ever is at the alter that day, Has a POWERFUL message he/she wants to share
• I come to church to up lifted! and, I expect that everytime!
• They have to have good music.. (c'mon, none of this non-singing mess like you wont trinna be there in the 1st place)
• A church that reaches out to the youth, and talks about REAL stuff that we go through. (dnt sugar coat it)
• TRUE CHRISTIANS (not them one's that act one way while your there, and when you get out act another way... I mean im not ashamed of myself so I will act the same way I do out in public. GOD see's All ain't NOOOO use for frottin'... but dnt get me wrong there is a TIME n a PLACE! for everthing.)
• A church that does not critisize NON-Christians.. As Christians WE are supposed to spread the WORD! To help out our MAN KIND! (This does not mean HARASS THEM! with what you believe in. Just Let them know what it is that your about! and HELP THEM along the way with there issues, THAT'S WHAT WEEEEE supposed to do! As Christians)
• Most of all, A CHURCH THAT's For the em-betterment of the people. (Not trinna act like they themselves dnt sin.. A sin is a SIN. WE ALLL are SINNERS! so dnt try to act like you are Holy-er than Thou n don't do anywrong! oh and another thing)

Fucking Awesome Day..

It started off rocky, but I prayed alot! So I was in for a great day. For some reason today I was hella hyper! Idk wat wats up with that lol. Then I was due for work.. After school. Yeah I was a bit tired; But I was still hyper so it really didn't matter :D. Ohkay-getting to the BEST PART! I came to work looking a mess because I didn't care what i looked like. I mean If it isn't gnna be anyone cute their then... Imma be whatever! lol. Okay, so around 6:00 I was rolling silver wear..
Andd this cute thuggy guy (he seems nice, and ion even like that for real, for real.. But imma give em' a try for a few..to see how long he gnna last lol!) is smiling and looking at me.. So im like, what? Do he not know I look a mess right now , and acting hella WERID/CRAZY! (in my mind im like I think he just see's this BOOOtah lol..fyi he ainn getting it.. but if he was a girl.. Now that's a different story :D) SO he comes over and he's like
"So wats gud widd the number?"
Im like
"yeah, you can have it."
and I walk away.. I had to think about that.. that's why Iwalked away lol!

but.... Yeah in some weird awkward way that made my day even better than what it was.
Im not hopping something will come out of this (him getting my number) because im not expecting anything.

Another Relationship Lost

Ughh.. I can't say im really disappointed, because I admit it's my fault I let her go. So I just need to deal with it. I miss talking to her though. Ahh.. I think it's about to be that time of the month because im starting to get really sappy.
-
But any who.. on the bright side I shopped a lil bit, my hair smells like cherries (accident!), and thats about it.. other than the fact that I found out some information.. Disturbing if i wanna call it that. Idk I still have to get my thoughts together on how I want to phrase it. WWJD ? He would help. lol.. So I will

The Start of this New Year..

I've gotten broken up with. Had a spiritual awakening. I've started to realize what I truly wanted to do with my life and i've found out why i'm here (as in why GOD put me here)... and Im not trying to act like im holy-er than thou because im NOT. I sin just like the next person. And just because I feel passionately about females dsnt mean I can't have a life with Christ. I know im blessed God has shown me so; and I TRULY believe!

Mysteries in it's form

Man wat kinda power does this chick have over me? Something isn't right but I keep coming back. Is it because she is beautiful and hard to say no to? Or is it that I just dnt care and my consciousness doesn't care to see and realize wats going on. They say curiosity killed the cat. I'm Blessed so I believe that my Lord and Savior will protect me.

Unfinn...

Get some green get some green.That's all but dont be mean. Share the green. Be a fean. Its like bad vs. good. Who really knows smoke the green! Enjoy the hearbal bliss. I touch the sky. The air beneath my wings. Yeah im High of the forbiddible hearb of life. the green i mean that people dispise soo deeply. I understand clearly that people die because of the reckless ways of people even if you not using it. they say ist wack. So wat is green then? Good or bad? I have yet to find the answer to that.

No Tittle

Like the one thing that makes me happy I don't even have it anymore. It's crazy when you just feel like you and a person would be soo right for you and they dont want to go that far. Its more to the staory than what im typing but I just dont have the time type it. But damn when it's soo bad that you can't even hang out with them because the person likes you. It's like they are putting me on punnishment or something. The joy is gone and maybe even lost if i can't see her. I only can now just guess of how it would of been. Damn.... Really Thats that slay.... lol... literally. I had to put a joke in there somewhere bc im just too torn up. Damn...

NoOoOoOT Happy.

Damn im soo Miserable in Nc. It's like every time I come back im unhappy and bored out of mind!!! It's nothing down here for me. No relationships that would make me want to stay. It's absolutely nothing that would make me want to stay. I swear after high school im going to take the first flight out of here. You just wouldnt understand the half of it...