Closing!

 

Lust is something that can test your relationship to the
MAX but if you ignore it things will be far
better in the end. Also I have learned that.

-        
Lesson Learned :D

Not sure what to tittle this...

Oooooh My God it’s nothing like a girls
MOAN! Especially if you
like her…

Between lust

Between lust
vs. what
I have

 

I have a hard decision to make

I haven’t acted on the cheating part
(yet) but I mean (aghhh)
maybe it wouldn’t be soo hard if I wasn’t horny all the damn time when
I’m around her. I do actually try to avoid her as much as possible. We
know the same people so it’s kind of hard to avoid my friends. When my
friends are not the problem it’s kind of her… Being in the
“circle” of friends that I hang with.

I’m really not trying to cheat on my
boyfriend it’s just that my body/mind desires her and I can’t help that… I just
can’t.

 

2nd Part to bad grades

2^nd Part to bad grades

 

My Report Card wasn’t bad as I thought it was. Actually I
did a little bit better (just a lil bit though).
After I showed him the news he acknowledged (he basicly slayed the hell outta me)that I’m not going to a four year
university because my grades show that I’ am not. I guess I’m cool with that but
I mean that does not mean that I am not going to amount to anything it just
means that I’m not going to a university. (I’m going to
Community Collage as well) But I will tell you that I’m going to the
military because I actually want too! Not because I have nothing else to do
(I do have other options). This is because I want
to keep that tradition going. The military helps you be determine in what ever
your goals may be also you get a phat ass check after all your hard work for
serving your country. Plus I will be proud of accomplishing that.
In the long run my dad said he was proud of me for having a plan for my future.(Instead of being a bum, Which is SOO not me!)

Don’t let others choke your dreams or hold you back

Don’t let others choke your dreams or hold you back

I’m making a video blog about this topic because not too long ago I was having a conversation with my boy friend about what I want to do after high school and what he was going to do. Anyways (not to cause confusion or conflict with my boy friend); I stated that I wanted to go to the Navy. He said that he didn’t want me to go to the military; because he can’t be away from me for along time and he was afraid of me finding someone better than him and so on and so on.

I’m over here trying to tell him we would still be together and all that good stuff. But in my mind I’m just like damn nicca… Shit I don’t need someone holding me back from doing the things I want to do.

I certainly wouldn’t do that to him. If I was that worried I would try to go to myself. (We will see how this works out in the future)

Even when it comes to relationships, family, or friends don’t let them hold you back you do you and follow your heart!

(I'm going to youtube this)

You tell me if I should feel the slightest negative emotion to this...

You tell me if I should feel the slightest negative emotion
to this…

 

So my blood sister found me on Myspace this summer, and I
am happy she did!

And my father and her are developing a beautiful
relationship which I think all fathers/parents should do with there children
even if you don’t know them personality wise or haven’t seen them. It’s just the
fact you the parent/father knowing that you help make something come into this
world that is part of you. Now getting to the real point of this blog my
biological mother not trying to slay her in anyway I’m just saying/wondering do
you have the desire of knowing me? Like how my father is getting to know my
sister your daughter. Do you want anything to do with me? I mean shit. This is
actually hurting me emotionally and I’m a pretty strong person inside n out.
It’s just the fact of you know my number, you know my AIM IM, and you can damn
sure ask my sister how to contact me in other ways such as Myspace & Facebook.
Like damn you have every place where I’m at 99% of the time. So what is the
problem? Why haven’t you taken your time out to chat with me or at least wish me
happy birthday? Or you might be scared of my criticism. Shit I’m not mad at you
for not being in my life since birth. All I’m saying is now would be a good time
to get to know your daughter. Yes it might be a lil bit awkward talking to me
because you don’t know me, but that will all past.

 

However the thing that really got me thinking about this
was having a conversation with my boyfriend. I was talking about how my dad was
getting her for Christmas an(a) iPod, laptop, camera, printer iTunes cards and
anything else she might want (and he got it for her).

 

(Just to let you know I’m not
looking for gifts from this woman because as you can see my dad can most
certainly give me material cosas)

 

So my boyfriend
was saying-

So your dad and
your sister must talk a lot. And I’m like yeah they do!

So he’s like-

Do ya’ll talk a
lot? (he’s talking about me and my biological mother) I’m like no we don’t
at all. I’m not sure why.

He’s like-

Do you like
her? I’m like I have no reason not to like her she’s cool in my book

He’s like-

Oh ok…. I think
that’s messed up how she not trying to put forth an effort to have a mother
daughter relationship with you, but that’s just me I don’t know about you though
that’s what I think about that.

(And I tried to play it off like It really didn’t bother me that me and her
don’t speak but it did and still does)
=/

And that really got me thinking I talk to my sister just
about everyday! And you are a parent/mother that lives with someone that talks
to your daughter everyday and you can’t slip in a hey… how you doing. I agree
with my boyfriend this/that is a problem!.

This chick has got me gone (lustily)

Every since I met her in my weight training class I have always been attracted to her. To the flirting to her physical appearance the chemistry is their. So let me get to the chase I asked her out… on a dat e… Yes I am very much aware that I have a boyfriend. My thing is you only live once so why not chase what you desire…right? So I asked her out on a date she said “What about your boyfriend?” I said you didn’t answer yes or no. Ignoring the total fact of her asking me “what about my boyfriend” question (yes that was smooth but I’m trying to get what I want) and I am anticipating her reply. I really hope it’s in my favor!

(Crown Royal- Jill Scott)

The Softest Lips…Part One

I don’t know what I am getting into.
Even though I have a boyfriend I feel like I’m missing out on things I truly want to do.
This sounds fucked up but I really don’t want to break up with him for any other person and that is my word. But I have realized that I will step out on him to get what I want and still remain with him. Sounds crazy I know and dishonest. It’s just that my mind and body is drawing me to her. Plus it doesn’t help that she is feeling me back. People if you only knew what she does to me she would have you going too (basically she can get it). I am contemplating my decision and I will make a part two of what I am going to do. Until then stay tuned.

Frustrating.. Valentines Day

ugh!!
I tried to order a key chain heart engraved with names on each heart (sounds great right) well!
When I tried to order it the fucking site wanted to act up!

Now I have to go to a store to find something! Which i really do NOT want to do since heart engraved thing is something i REALLY
want to get my bf for Valentines day.


Help Me with New Gift Ideas!!!!

PLEASE!