REAL Life 2010, 18 days left of high school

Lately I've been feeling extream anger. As in I want to fight. I'm frustrated. Once I thought things were looking up for me, but some how things started to change a drop of a dime. Now I feel like I'm at the end of the line. Looking for a way out, but I'm trapped. Stuck, like a teen mom. Like she can't see past next weeks check. I feel useless, worthless. But I still continue to do what I  think is best. I can't see the light. It's like darkness in caving in, all sense of directions. I feel like I'm being forced into submission, with no say. I'm being treated like I have no control of my OWN life. I just want to get away. Even If I fail. Just let me do it my way. So I can pick myself up, and lean from what has been done.

I'm starting to become what I was once before. Contemplating suicide... I feel dead inside, but I try not to think of it. Thinking there has to be another way out, but I just can't find the door. But is life really worth living for? Even though I want to be gone, I'm scared. Yeah, I guess that makes me pussy. As of right now that's a fact of reality. Ugh! I want to drink myself into a coma, I want to feel Soo high I can't feel my pain.